we are gay and ethiopian

By Ephraim

January 7, 2005: Discussions among Ethiopians in an online group have recently centred on whether or not being gay is Ethiopian - Melakam Yegena Bale argues that one can be both and that civil rights for gays could benefit straights too.

In the struggle for gay equality, it's important to at least get others to listen to what we have to say. Not because we have to get a majority of people on our side: civil rights does not (or more accurately, isn't supposed to) depend on majority approval.

We need people to listen to us so that we can explain to them why allowing the government to limit the civil rights of gays is dangerous to the civil rights of straights as well.

Abandoning our history and heritage and telling others "We're Gays! We're not Ethiopians!" is not conducive to get the other side to listen. Demanding equality and later abandoning the struggle whenever we are challenged by the oppressor is not only pointless, it's downright dangerous. People don't need much of a reason to continue to discriminate, and being disrespectful to our heritage and background is giving them that ammunition.

Identifying ourselves merely based on our sexual orientation makes homophobia easy. If we just focus on our sexuality and ignore our other identities, what kind of message are we sending? Who can blame straight people for thinking gay men are nothing more than sex-crazed perverts? Why are we blaming guys for telling us being gay is not Ethiopian if we abandon our heritage upon learning our attraction for the same gender? Are we not fulfilling prejudicial stereotypical assumptions? Is this not self- defeating?
Self-defeating behaviour and actions can only be stopped by the one who is performing them. Straights can't stop gay Ethiopians from behaving in ways that put people on the defensive and therefore less inclined to listen to what their advocates are saying.

We must stop those behaviours ourselves. We must take back control of our lives. We must help ourselves. Until we learn how to fight oppression systematically, all we can really do is to both sit idly by and say Hey!

Wake up! Look at what you're doing to yourself!